I don’t know about you, but my husband and I entered into parenthood with different backgrounds and expectations. I’ve kicked him under the table or given him the evil eye plenty of times when I didn’t like how he was handling the kids.
What happens when parenting styles are different? In an ideal world, parents would be on the same page. It would certainly make life easier for you AND less confusing for the kids. Instead you are always the bad guy, and your laid-back spouse acts like every day is a trip to Disney World.
Getting on the Same Page
Take a quick look at your parenting styles. Are you a helicopter parent or do you bark orders like a military general? Does your spouse or partner lose their cool and holler at the kids? Does one of you avoid confrontation? Take stock of your likenesses and your differences. What are your strengths and weaknesses? How can you best complement one another?
Be Supportive. Supporting each other when it comes to discipline is imperative. Even if you don’t agree. Your kids need to know that you will back each other up. Create a unified front when possible. Save the disagreements about the kids for behind closed doors.
Agree On a Plan, When You Can. When you are faced with chronic issues it’s time to put your heads together and agree on how you want to handle a specific situation. If you can’t see eye to eye, experiment with one plan and see how it works. If it’s an ‘epic fail’ give the other spouse an opportunity to try their plan!
Many of my clients come to me because they want to find a parenting method that they can both agree on. Presenting a cohesive front will help make your home more peaceful. One client recently wrote to me, ” This course was invaluable to our family. We are not only better parents, our marriage has improved.” – Ellie, Charlotte
If You Can’t Agree. You’re not alone. Your kids will come into contact with all different types of teachers, bosses, friends, etc. during their lifetime. If your parenting styles are different kids will develop the tools to manage each parent in their own way. Think of it as a life skill. But one caveat…don’t undermine each other if possible. Once a parent lays down a decision, it should stick. This will keep kids from using the old divide and conqueor method.
Need help getting on the same page? Think it will help bring more peace to your home? I’m here for you! Join me for one of my upcoming workshops or sign up for private coaching! I can’t WAIT to work with you!